Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
