if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
its not stalking. its research.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
