He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
