Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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