I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
is it fun? or sober?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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