I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Barsexuality is the new black.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
