O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
