Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
