Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
