I skipped work to stalk him.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
