Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
