She's JV to your varsity
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Just pee around me
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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