I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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