Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
