how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
