Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
