I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Randomize
