Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
