Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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