Betty ford says i'm here all night
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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