Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
