The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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