Cold hands, warm shart.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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