he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
