well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
