Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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