Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
