I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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