So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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