did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
