guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
