Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
