Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
