i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
