Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
