I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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