roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
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