I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
then he tried to convert me to islam
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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