haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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