I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
