i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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