We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I can't turn off my feet"
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
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