the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
His hands were made for my vagina.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
