NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
