First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
