well you can't waste a boner
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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