Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
