we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
