Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
