My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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