Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
