how can u be prego again
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Randomize
