found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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